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The obvious question: Can't you tell that your spouse is gay? In his memoir, McGreevey describes in detail his sexual relationship with Cipel, whom he first met in 2000, while married to Dina. "Even if McGreevey didn't want to identify as a gay man, look at how much sex he was having outside of his marriage?" Kaye said. Those who will never admit to themselves that they're gay are termed "straight gay men." Before McGreevey's public confession, that description applied to him.
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Like George, about half of married gay men will never tell the truth and will stay in the marriage, according to Kaye. Guys who get married are hoping that if they love their wife enough, that love will change their sexuality."
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The numbers have stayed the same even as the country's attitudes about homosexuality have changed."Īnd why do so many gay men and women get married? "Because people don't want to be gay," Kaye said. Kaye says that she has counseled more than 30,000 women who've been married to gay men. "It's a larger number than people suspect," said Bonnie Kaye, the author of "Is He Gay? A Checklist of Women Who Wonder." Gays married to straight spouses - such as George and McGreevey - are not an isolated phenomena.Īlong with other high-profile examples such as evangelist leader Ted Haggard and former Congressman Mike Huffington, there are an estimated 2 million to 4 million gay people who are or have been married to straight spouses. "She may not disdain all gay men, but she disdains this one," he said. Monday, he shot back at Dina over her allegation that he and his gay partner were exposing Jacqueline, the ex-couple's 5-year-old daughter, to erotic art. McGreevey's divorce has gotten increasingly bitter. In the summer of 2002, when she caught him on the phone talking to his aide Golan Cipel, she asked him, "Are you gay?" according to McGreevey's memoir, "The Confession." Years before McGreevey's infamous "I am a gay American speech" in 2004, in which he publicly announced his homosexuality, Dina knew about his orientation, he says. " knew of my sexual orientation before our marriage chose either to ignore it or block it out of her mind, even when questioned by friends," according to legal papers filed by his lawyers. McGreevey's wife, Dina, knew about her husband's preference for men even before they tied the knot in 2000, he says. So far, George has done a better job at hiding his sexuality than former New Jersey Gov. I don't think my wife or kids suspected it." "I was trying to lead this double life and unfortunately, I'm pretty successful at it. I couldn't do that to her," said George, who didn't want his real name used, in an interview with about his predicament and his marriage. And though he's had occasional flings since then, he has no plans to tell his wife about his secret life or to end his marriage. © 2015-2022.Although he told his wife before their marriage that he was sometimes attracted to men, he never acted on those feelings until five years ago. All models appearing on this website are over 18 y.o.
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